I am a Master Imperial Turtle

If you are a turtle you know what comes next...

If you are a candidate turtle you must answer the following riddles.

1. What is a four letter word ending in k for intercourse?
2. What sticks so far out of a man's pajamas you could hang a hat on it?
3. What do men do standing up, women do sitting down, and dogs do with one leg in the air?

Submit your answers via e-mail

I am a Master Imperial Turtle. I will gladly admit you to the order if you pass the test.

Now that we have that out of the way…

If you like what you have read thus far and think we would be a good fit, I have another question for your consideration.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Answer:

1. Cut a hole in the ice
2. Spread some peas around the hole
3. When the polar bear comes by to eat the peas, push him in the hole

This joke is funny on so many different levels it spans all cultures.

OK, so where is the humor?

It’s a lot of work to cut a hole in the ice to be big enough to fit a polar bear.

Polar bears do not eat peas but they may eat you while spreading the peas around the hole.

Where do you plan to hide on the ice?

How will you push an 800 plus lbs bear in the hole?

Assuming you push the bear in the hole, then what?

My guess is a very mad polar bear would climb out of the hole and eat you!

By now my darling you should have a very good understanding of what I’m all about. If you like what you have viewed, the next move is yours.

If you are not sure where you are going, you better be careful, you might not get there
Yogi Bera



It ain't over till it's over...except for this personal ad. It was over after about line four.