a simgle pregnant mom of three

a simgle pregnant mom of three who is new to alot of things but ready to make a new start.

i like to listen to just about all music. i can get used to just about anything. my favorite tv show is weeds, and law and order svu, im also pregnant so i like all kinds of foods. i love to spend my free time with my three children whom keep me busy most of the time. i am a homemaker.....you know a stay at home mom... well until the baby is born then im going to work.

(Work? Pish posh, just take a hint from your favorite TV show and sell weed. You'll be just as hot as Mary Louise Parker, I promise)

47 years of mental, emotional and spiritual abuse

I am 70 years old, and divorced my husband after 47 years of mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. I am not a weak, mousy person, yet he had convinced me that I am incompetent in nearly every area..nothing I did or my children did was good enough. When he started in on the grands I balked and said NO MORE! He died 2 years after the divorce, so I consider myself a divorced widow. I am currently writing a book designed to help women..and men..escape from abusive relationships. Sometimes you cant see the forest for the trees..and it takes a serious situation to jar you loose.

(Who says baggage can't be tantalizing? Load up all 50 years of it and let's go on a cruise!)

love a fem that dress like a dom and make me say dayum

i lekr female that know how to party and have a good time but at the same time a love a female that can make me laugh and it smart metally and street. i love a sexy dom that can out on dress and make em say dayum and i love a fem that dress like a dom and make me say dayum. i am a very strong person and i like my female to be that way too. i know who i am and what i want to do and be in life and i have goals in life i like a female who knows who she is and what she wants in life or at least a friend. i am 5 foot 1 and i am a dark skined half trini half americain sista and i cook too. not only do i like ot have fun and party but i like explore and travel go place i have not yet seen. so if you can have fun and good conversaton and you like to go differnt place meet new people and turn me on with your since of style you got me. i cant wait to hear from fems and doms in my area i promise well have a good time

(You had me at "lekr female." No wait, you had me at "smart metally." No wait...you never had me)

if u are interesting or some body interesting own me!

hi guys" im simple man looking simple friend like u....lolz happy like u...lolz always smiling like u....lolz well if u are interesting or some body interesting own me! just buzz me....lolz so what are u waiting for! i know that u wait me....lolz by the way if u askme if im rich im so sorry im the one who live in the earth not rich.....lolz but?....lolz im rich for some friends.......lolz you can try don't be scared...lolz im just me.....so are u ready for my new world.....lolz....ok'ok' i know you shy....lolz me too....lolz but don't worry we can try....lolz well ima guy so u already know like video games...lolz and sports ov course....lolz and im big on comedy so family guy is the best....lolz




Could I use you in a cutaway?

i really enjoy information books

For fun
i like to socialixe, travel, meet new and exciting people. Ver much into nature and all its beautry. Hiking in the mountains is a favorite of mine. If you like country boys that are honest and value a good looking intelligent woman we should meet.im irish decent, had two good parents that worked hard and also enjoyed their life to the max..Verry much a country boy, with good values and a very high drive. Like the simple things in lif like a nice sunset with a cute woman in a glass of wine.

Last read
not the last thing i read but the most interesting was a book on sexuality, it explained how to make any woman orgasm during intercourse, that was several years ago and it was the best information i got in a while. i really enjoy information books.

(I agree, information books are some of the most riveting. Ver much into those)

whatev i like dong and he likes dong

want sSomeone whom I can be myself around and that can make me laugh.like all activities whatev i like dong and he likes dong. i also enjoy traveling to traverse city to see fall colors any where hot and sunny is awesome! im very out going and like dong just about anything.

(Either you're a bell-ringing enthusiast or...)

harley riding god loven man. smilessss

don't smoke,sniff,spit,dip,or chew, try NOT to chase women that do

i am casper try to live up to the name i love the outdoors hike hunt fish camp horseback waterski canoe photography harley riding cancer heart family values faithful friendly kind honest compassionate passionate loyal help others a lot. love the mountains to the ocean breeze at night harley riding god loven man. smilessss. good luck in your search. a woman that loves the outdoors.that can go from jeans and dirty hands from the garden to an after 5 dress that loves her man and only him and the lord. she will have compassion for others.that would like to ride him on his harley or her own.

(Hey Casper, cancer is an interest of mine too! But we won't get the big C unless we get back to our dippin', right? Ride me)

not infrequently, a bit of a giggle puss

Need a good woman.I'm a daydreamer, a sass mouth, and not infrequently, a bit of a giggle puss. from my dad's side is basically Polish while from my mom's side I'm a complete mutt from around Europe. I'd have to look at a chart to get more detailed.

(Do you have access to that chart now? It's extremely important we get to the bottom of your ethnicity. I need to know exactly where my giggle pussies come from, you know?)

I am Irish on my dads side and German on my dads side

About me
The name is Kenny i am 26 and single. Im not very tall. Im not conceeded just cock and funny, I am also kind to others and don't start drama but if it starts i will end it. I am mostly laid back and easy going and very easy to get along with. I dont get mad easily and have much of a temper.

Last read
don't remeber not a big reader and it was months ag

Ethnicity
I am Irish on my dads side and German on my dads side

Faith
Agnostic.I believe in god but i don't care much for religon and the politics of religon

(Kenny ol' chap! We should really catch up soon and continue our discussion about logotherapeutic constructs. So rare to find an agnostic theist these days, what with Hitch all the rage. Cheers, and say hello to those two dads)

I am a Master Imperial Turtle

If you are a turtle you know what comes next...

If you are a candidate turtle you must answer the following riddles.

1. What is a four letter word ending in k for intercourse?
2. What sticks so far out of a man's pajamas you could hang a hat on it?
3. What do men do standing up, women do sitting down, and dogs do with one leg in the air?

Submit your answers via e-mail

I am a Master Imperial Turtle. I will gladly admit you to the order if you pass the test.

Now that we have that out of the way…

If you like what you have read thus far and think we would be a good fit, I have another question for your consideration.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Answer:

1. Cut a hole in the ice
2. Spread some peas around the hole
3. When the polar bear comes by to eat the peas, push him in the hole

This joke is funny on so many different levels it spans all cultures.

OK, so where is the humor?

It’s a lot of work to cut a hole in the ice to be big enough to fit a polar bear.

Polar bears do not eat peas but they may eat you while spreading the peas around the hole.

Where do you plan to hide on the ice?

How will you push an 800 plus lbs bear in the hole?

Assuming you push the bear in the hole, then what?

My guess is a very mad polar bear would climb out of the hole and eat you!

By now my darling you should have a very good understanding of what I’m all about. If you like what you have viewed, the next move is yours.

If you are not sure where you are going, you better be careful, you might not get there
Yogi Bera



It ain't over till it's over...except for this personal ad. It was over after about line four.

Someone who without makeup makes my nature rise

Hi,
Welcome to my fishing hole I am hoping to catch a delicious Chilean Sea Bass.

I have had my fill of Fried Whiting which is certainly very delicious with Grits on a Sunday Morning , but my taste buds now salivate for those rare morsels that you just want to hold in your mouth as long as possible.

I am a 6 ft 2 gentleman who is Southern in manner and spirit due to my North Carolina Roots .

I prefer down to earth women who wear less makeup than more and who probably wear more " Target " than " Prada " . The kind of person who values the fact that I will gladly give her kids my last dollar and does not insist that we buy a new Mercedes every two years ( the Pre-1990 ones are nicer anyway ) .

Someone who without makeup makes my nature rise and for who I would do anything I could to drain the stress from her brow .I am not in a rush and am not aggressively searching and contacting people . Instead I am at home adding ingredients to a big pot of comfort food I would love to share with you.

I am not one of these " Black People " who salivate over other cultures I love " Black people ".

I love music.If you can feel the music you can probably feel me . Can I make you a CD ?

(Aw, you already want to make me a mix tape? How sweet. But since I just bought a Tony Orlando anthology at "Target," I'd rather you spend that last dollar of yours buying me a plane ticket to Shanghai so I can get the hell away from you)

believe me I can get a little krunk when necessary

I say I'm YoungObama for a reason, because if you look at our President, I feel I have a lot of his qualities. I am personally someone who many have described as determined, a leader, a mentor, not afraid to stand up for what is right. I am someone who has to Go Hard in what I do, as I find it to be the only suitable way to live. I must say that I usually have an even, mild mannered personality, but believe me I can get a little krunk when necessary. I don't know if yall keep up with politics, but you saw how krunk Obama got with those republicans. I can get like that though it is not immediately apparent.



(Listen, Krunk Master Douche, I have enough problems without "Young Obama" here stepping on---hey wait---do you have an American birth certificate I could borrow? Fist bump, krunky!)

kiss in pubic & not be ashamed

I'd like my match to be like good humor like me , to hod hands & kiss in pubic & not be ashamed about it. Also to to though good times & bad w/me.Just to take me as I am.I like to go walking,swimming(skinny -dippin') if possible,love to hug,cuddle,& kiss,French if that too.Or just sit on a swing @ night & hold each other.like to have fun & take it easy. Be intiminte once I get know someone.

(So relieved your open to French kissing. Would that happen in pubic too?)

cuddling on the couch w nascar

About me
m pretty laid back just go with flow m a full time student at terra comunnty collage anything out doors cuddling on the couch w nascar , football , movies , conversation , sports bar, walkes , not affraid to show affection in public

Last read
my welding book for collage

Favorite Things
classic rock country rock ncis csi miami two n a half men



Winning!

I am a grafice art major

Haai :D, Im going to college.I am a grafice art major, minor in buisnes.I love the summer.I treat others the way id like to be treated. It was hard for me to learn that somethigs in my life i cannot control, and to live life now , instead of yesterday. But yea if you like wanna contact meh just send me a message lol .peace. oh yea and i like teh whole emo look .itz hawt lulz.

(You're right, there are many things in life you can't control, such as me swiftly roundhouse kicking your emo face. Sorry to get grafice like that)

It's like being on a tandem bike with Jesus

I am looking for a kindred spirit to serve God alongside. To raise kids and love neighbors with. Someone to pray with. Someone to share chessy jokes with! Each day would be an open page of possibilities to discover, love, learn, and share God's amazing love with the world! He also should be between the ages of 35 and 39. I love Jesus! Each day is a faith-embraced adventure with my best friend in the Universe. It's like being on a tandem bike with Jesus (He's in front!) Through the twists and turns of life, I never cease to be amazed where He takes me!l more than anything I long to be a great mom and wife someday. To create a home where the walls echo of love and laughter! Where children and their friends know they will find encouragement, a cookie, and two parents who are deeply in love with Jesus, each other, and them! I love my job! My passion and calling includes sleeping outside in cardboard boxes, going to camp every summer, and teaching about where poop is found in the Bible to middle schoolers whose candor, awe, and unguarded love for the Lord is insatiable





Christ on a stick, we get it, you dig Me. And sorry about all that poop, but hey, it makes the Sodom story so much juicier!

A Justin Bieber Book to my Daughter

About me
Im Currently Attending Collage Fulltime and Working Fulltime Something that I love to do is Care for Children, I Would love to be a Forster Parent one day. I love Learning New Things, Im a Very funny Person, Who Loves Life, I love going for walks or to the Movies, Traveling.

Last read
A Justin Bieber Book to my Daughter(not my choice)



She's right, I forced her to do it

pampers would be ideal for me

I am a jewel waiting to be discovered and then treasured. My frinds admire my inteligenc and respect my personality as going with the flow of the situation. I am a lady with tendacies that may suprise. A perfect match would be someone who can be hiself with respect and honesty. A man who is strong, diverse, supportive, flexible, and pampers would be ideal for me.




I'm more of a Depends guy, sorry

I was born into a thick catholic family

Hello single cute men out there..., I recently signed up mainly because suprislying I have meet people that are getting married from this site so I thought I would give it a try. I am currently sprated from my ex and at the moment we both share our little boy. We r still friends and very civil I am spirtiual but I was born into a thick catholic family

(In that case you'd better give me a full body shot)

love to sweat it out with a partner!

I'm newer to Dallas so would love to explore more! It is a requirement for me to sweat once a day, minimum and love to sweat it out with a partner! Not into one night stands or BOOTY CALLS!!!1!!

(Then how are we going to sweat it out?)

i enjoy spending time together doing moist anything

love moves, see almost everythinmg. going out to dinner is fun. i enjoy spending time together doing moist anything. i have begun traveling and am going to europe for the 4th time in the near future

(While we're doing moist anything, you might experience some of those moves you so dearly love)

my doctor says I wont get much bigger as I was tiny to begin with

I'm looking for someone who doesnt mind the fact that I'm a mom to be or that I will be a mom in 3 months time. My little girl is already my life and I'm hoping to add a positive male influence into our lives. Also looking for someone who will accept that I can be a little emotional sometimes and when hurt I can say things that I dont necessarily mean and be patient with me and understand that after a few hours I will come around and apologize (this has mostly happened since becoming pregnant but has happened once or twice before). I am obviously very family oriented and always try to put others needs over my own. Please don't think that because I am looking for someone while pregnant that I am not putting my daughters needs first I believe a happy mom is what my daughter needs and I believe as long as I am happy with myself it is prefectly ok to start dating or getting to know someone while pregnant. I am not looking for hook ups or short term I am looking for someone who can and will be my forever. Even if I don't personally know someone (say they are someone you work with for example) if something happens to them I'm going to care it is how I was raised.

P.S. Once again please dont let me being pregnant turn you away most people can barely tell unless they know for sure I am pregnant and my doctor says I wont get much bigger as I was tiny to begin with.

(Well in that case...)

a measurable amount of spunk

as for my perfect man, well you also are ambitious, smart and funny you should be open minded, independent, goofy, big hearted, a total dork at least part of the time, inquisitive and have a measurable amount of spunk.

(Too easy)

really I have kids 53 and 2

really I have kids 53 an 2 I am looking for some one to hang out with every so once in a while to talk an conversate with.

(Indeed, let us conversate. First topic of discussion: how did you decide when to have your second child?)

ooking for someone who will lyk/love mee

ooking for someone who will lyk/love mee for who ii amm am a thick girl

I lyk 2go out wd 4riendz nd sing nd dance nd perfect match idk nobodys perfect so jux have 2 get 2 knw me nd we can go 4rm there bt it dosnt matter wat u luk lyk as lng as u take care of urself nd i lyk honesty nd trustworthy nd dnt cheat nd loves me 4me nd dnt beat women nd loves 2 have fun n dnt take everythang 2 ceriously nd loves 2 spend tym wd a woman i lyk 2 go out i aslo love spending tyme with muh family 3 i have no kids but maybe someday i will have sum looking for a good guy that is respectful honest lovable caring and some one who know how 2 havee funn i lyk to hang out with my friends n i am big on drinkin

(Big on drinking? I would have never guessed. Smooth move: by respelling "like," you have so much more time to drink your Nati Ice)

he shpuld be samrt

A Ph.D. student, new in town, looking for a friend... and maybe more. Most important, he shpuld be samrt and easy to talk to. I know what I want, and I know whar I think - and not afraid to say that.

(That's precisely the problem, Dr.)

I am a very intellagant, load back, female

Hi I am a down to earth intellgant female who is very out going and who is a very hard worker as well. Is looking for the right someone. I am a very intellagant, load back, female who who had know drama in my life and would like to keep it that away, I am a strait and forward person who is as loyal as can be. I don't have time for games.

(Not sure if I want to meet you. I need more intel...gant)

i am also interlectual and enjoy the readings of a book

i am a full figured women who enjoy my curves because its me and defines me as a individual i am also interlectual and enjoy the readings of a book or having that book reed to me .i am not a so if you want to chat if you are from africa or reside here and are there please do not communicate with me i am looking for someone who is in the united stats and has family in the united stats!!!! ........... i am also looking to get to know someone who is seeking longterm it doesnt have to be at this momment but know that thats what i will be seeking if they want to be with me . iwant someon who is independent and can match me to the table i am a person who loves conversation so texts are ok and emails are ok but after so many of them it gets boring and looses my interest.

(My interest is loose too...)

sold to Jesus Crist

Hi dear! I,m a Christian woman, 50years of age, sold to Jesus Crist, soul and body, prety,prety smile, sexy, good heart, honest ,trustworth and seeking a career in medical field!Looking for an American man that love God Almigth in first place and love me like Jacob loved Rachel! He must be spiritual,psycologicaly and financially stable!

(Crist Almigth endorses this message)

I'M SORRY GUYS... I MET SOMEONE

I'M SORRY GUYS... I MET SOMEONE A FEW MONTHS AGO. IT'S COMPLICATED. WE LIVE VERY BUSY LIVES AND HAVE BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SHOULD WE OR SHOULDN'T WE. LAST NIGHT WE DECIDED TO CONCENTRATE ON OUR "STUFF" WHILE SEEING EACH OTHER AND THEN DECIDE BY NOVEMBER IF WE ARE GONNA GET SERIOUS OR NOT. I REALLY LIKE HIM. HE CHASED ME DOWN TO GET MY NAME AND NUMBER. I DIDN'T MEET HIM ON LINE. CRAZY HUH? MY SUBSCRIPTION IS ENDING THIS WED AND I NEED TO SAVE MY $$ AND PUT FOCUS ON HIM AND SEE WHERE IT TAKES US...

(How refreshing that you chose a dating website to announce that you're completely unavailable. I also enjoyed your Ebay post advertising that you had absolutely nothing to sell)

i HAVE LONG BLOND HAIR. Its on my hips.

Well, Iam 5'1 and weigh 125lb. i HAVE LONG BLOND HAIR. Its on my hips. I have moist, dewey skin , blue eyes and Iam a private person but also a people person

(Hair on your hips? I'll call my friend, she gives great Brazilians)

I dont want sex, I want a relationship

Im Steph.
Im an aries.
Im pregnant, and due in May.
Im come from a huge family.
Im outspoken
Im adventurous and caring
I speak my mind, and you may not like it
I dont want sex, I want a relationship.

(Clearly you don't want sex; the morning sickness has taken care of that)

GOOD LOOKING TALL PREGANT

WOW, I MEAN IM READY TO BROWSE THROUGH PROFILES, IM SO COMPLEX WRITING IN HERE WONT GIVE U THE JIST , SO HEY IM A GOOD PERSON FUNNY, GOOD LOOKING TALL PREGANT, YIKES...AND SINGLE! JUS WANT A PAL SUMONE TO WORK OUT WITH DO STUFF HANDLE BUSINESSS EAT HEALTHY TALK WHATEVER. SO IF U WANNA KNOW MORE U KNOW WHAT TO DO

Favorite hot spots
THE LAKE THE MALL THE MOVIES OUT TO EAT SKATING, BUT IM PREGNANT SO THATS KINDA ON HOLD

Favorite things
I LIKE ALL MUSIC FROM OLIDIES TO CURRENT, PINK FLOYED ROCK SND ROLL PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING, I DONT LIEK COUNTRY OR TOO MUCH OF HIP HOP BUT I LIKE R AND B I HAE A GREAT TSTE FOR MUSIC

Last read
A PREGNANCY BOOK AND THE SATANIC BIBLE

(She forgot one of her favorite hot spots: the delivery room)

im 5 months

i have child im 5 months n love hang out with friend look man is nice fun laugh like kid n love kid n hang out newpew three n love babysitting n love go camping n like ride bike n 2 pet birds n cat

(Your newpew called. He won't be able to go camping this weekend, n kay?)

im scare to a big belly guy :(

i'm not PHILIPINO !!!!

i'm not in ASIAN dudes (sorry!)

i'm a hard worker.

i've been to many kind of BS b4

i'm not picky (it doesn't mean I want to b with anybody YoW!)

i'm not a barbie doll type. im a reg.person with feelings and brain.

please be patient with me.

i learnd that shopping is the best way to celebrate a break up :>

BONUS:im not in medical but i'm a good nurse (Oh..but i cant cook :))

I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW that im scare to a big belly guy :(
1.be clean, dont need to use perfume tho
2.i love pubs or clubs or your house (anywhere as long as we dont walk all the time,mostly im on my heels :))
3.dont be push
4.be your self
5.give me ideas
6.see you soon !

(Ok, I won't be push. But what are your feelings on pull? For example, my finger?)