WOULD LOVE TO FIND A WOMAN WHO CAN SQUIRT

CUM AND GET BABY.....

I'M CLEAN, NICE, LOVABLE AND LOVE TO PLEASE WOMEN. I'M SOME WHAT OF A FREAK AND WOULD LOVE TO FIND A WOMAN WHO CAN SQUIRT......IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. SO IF YOU CAN DO THAT OR GUSH, BABY WE GONE GET ALONG REAL WELL BOO.

(So you're currently accepting positions for both squirters and gushers? What exactly is the difference? And hold your horses, I'll come and get the baby after work!)

crowned by his hand with the gloriole of supernatural light

In the beginning we were created by the Almighty as flawless jewels of heavenly might. Now we're crowned by his hand with the gloriole of supernatural light. Our Royal Love is written in our book of life, signed by my faith in Jesus Christ, sealed by The Holy Ghost and delivered by the Grace of God.

I'm your hereditary King and "The One" deriving miraculously from the Ancient Royal House of the Christian Lions, Heaven sent in the name of Love. In our dreams tonight your eyes meet mine and we see our reflections clearly in each others eyes. We're embracing each other while riding the waves on the oceans of Love and we know each kiss is bringing us one step closer to our new life in the heavens above. When we're walking on the water of Love under the heavens golden light, we're listening to the The Holy Spirits voice of truth and now we're doing what's right.

(I'm detecting subtle hints of Christianity in your profile. Maybe it was the gloriole that tipped me off?)

you ll break small brest

now what im looking for is someone who is understable and has copassoin for others thats a must have thing she's got to be good looking thick is real nice i love thick women who are the way the are and not afraid to show it also kinda skinny just not so skiny you ll break small brest are nice real nice but ill take what i can get im funny always jokeing around and have senance of humor i can take what i get with joking around it's real fun and you got to have senance of humor.

(So you love thick women who are also "kinda skinny"? What a senance of humor you have!)

very cleen and hygeen, guy

Honest, very clean, well looked after and hates lie. No second agenda.

I am Caring efectionate, generous, good hearted, very cleen and hygeen, guy. Wants to feel the effection from her.

Pettite small brest very clean and hygeen. Shows Effectione, love and care. Honest hates lies Girl is my ideal. Golf in summer time, clean the drive way, go for mountain, Have sex (if it is wondered) watch the world news.

(Trust me, sex will not be wondered)

i thank it is verry inporintion to be free

i belave if you cant be your self around friend you have alrudy how are you be able to be your self around me i thank it is verry inporintion to be free with who you are. its not wear your going but how your going to make it happen life is filed with lot of opshions.i have two job one is in food(carcker barrel) and the outher is banking at(Delaware county bank)

(Sorry, I can't date you...insufficient funds)

SHARING A BOWEL FULL OF POPCORN

IS IS SUPER BOWEL SUNDAY YET!?!!!!!

HOWDY,IM A BOUNCER IN BAR I LIKE TO LINE DANCE,WORKOUT,AND GOING TO THE BECH.I LIKE ALL KINDS OF MUSIC.I LIKE CONCERTS BUT I ALSO LIKE SPENDING TIME AT HOME ON THE COUCH SHARING A BOWEL FULL OF POPCORN AND A GOOD MOVE.SOMEONE WHOS NO AFRAID TO GET A LITTLE WILD ETHER




(Relax, baby, we'll be sharing that bowel in no time)

life is like a bowel of jelley, it taste good on bread

What I am looking for? Someone nice who doesn't throw temper tantrumss, someone who doesn't get mad easily, some one who smiles and laughs. Soneone who doesn't put other people down Someone who treats me as she wishes to be treated. Someone who realizes that life is like a bowel of jelley, it taste good on bread but very sticky on your body.

(Are you related to the guy who likes to share a bowel full of popcorn?)

ALSO COACH YOUTH BOWING

hey IM DAN I AM SHY AT FIRST BUT ARM UP QUICKLY. I LOVE TO FLIRT HARMLESS OF COURSE .THE LADY I DATE WOULD HAVE TO BE A CUDDLER AND ALSO INDEPENDENT. WELL GOOD THING I HAVE PATIENCE AND TOLARANCE.WHAT I WANT FROM MY LADY IS VERY SIMPLE / SOMEONE THAT WILL LOVE ME FOR ME AND IS NOT LOOKING FOR MONEY !!! I AM A SENSITIVE MAN AND OLD FASHION. I WORK FOR THE GOV ALSO COACH YOUTH BOWING . I WILL ADD MORE IN FUTURE IF NESSASARY.

(Not necessary)

I like to cook or eat out ladys

hopless romantic looking to woe

am a hopless romantic , like to go to movies or just stay home & cuddle up & watch TV love the outdoors , love a rainy sunday where you can cuddle all day i like to spoil a lady I do not like being alone I like to cook or eat out ladys are you ready?!?!?!11

(The audacity of hop)

i have a female puddle

HEY I AM TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE ME, I AM CRAZIE AND SEXY, VERY CONTERGIOUS, AND IRRESTABLE, HEY HAVE ME

i have a female puddle a maltse i have been with her for 6years now and she has one of my names zoe. am realy connected to her i can read her emmotions so as she do it, she is my friend and i know she is my love, she gives me all the attention i need

i dont even touch a romatic novel, i can write my own from my own real romatic love life, i like to be real and am romatic so reading romatic novels bores me up for real. i can act my own romance so try me, heheheheheheheh haaaaaah am romatic hot ga

(You'd rather write your own romance novel? Fine, but you and that female puddle of yours better submit a sample chapter by Monday...period)

I also had my eye shot at when I was 10

I Had a fairy tail wedding now looking for someone who will do as much as me!

I want a kid and would like to have one before I'm 40

I love to cuddle and go out too I'll try anthing once as long I don't get hurt.

I look for someone that can live with the fact that in 2001 I had a Brain Tumor which I'm fully recovered from.I also had my eye shot at when I was 10.

(Well there goes my idea of meeting at the shooting range)

RAN MIDDLE DISTANCES IN COOLEGE

I'm a teacher and coach with 26 years of teaching. Right now, I working indepently as a plumber, and sub-teacher in Liberty Co. 2011 is going to be a special year because I plan on finding the special person ,both of us to fall in love together, laugh,cry if needed, and keep each other happy and alive. Since 19, I have tryed to be the upmost bestfriend,good listner, caregiver, romantic and lover to my mate andIf interested,you need to answer bacK BY AT LEAST WRINKING AT ME, OR EMAIL. I'M NOY COACHING NOW, BUT SOME PLUMBING WORK ON SIDE.I HAVE 26 YEARS IN EDUCATING, WOULD LIKE TO WORK 4 MORE TILL I'M 60.

I'm IRISH, DUTCH, Engliish and forth SIOUX INDIAN. Grew up in Huntsville, AL ,DURING ITS BOOM DAY'S got to see and witness a city muture and grew with it. I PLAYED ALL FOUR SPORTS IN HIGH SCHOOL, BUT RAN MIDDLE DISTANCES IN COOLEGE.

(Coolege: the best years of your life. WRINK!)

I load up my hores and go rideing

Save a hores, ride a cowboy ;) when the hores bucks you off get up and get right back on

I love what I do..i love hores... I am at my best when I am working with my two hores, enjoy hores racing go to the beach race thoroughbred hores and try to have fun, play hores shoes riding bikes, I load up my hores and go rideing.I value my family very much. Someone that is trust wrothey and loyal and honest doesn't drink lie or chea or stea. looking for and honest woman and loyal woman who loves the outdoors and kids cause my grandkids. Lo swimming fishing. eez life here in Owasso

(Apparently pimpin' is easy in Owasso, Oklahoma)

as little dinking as is possible is desirable

I'm a kind, caring prson who tries to be a Gentalman. I am however a recovering alcoholic so as little dinking as is possible is desirable. I would like to meet someone who is inteligent and who is witty enough to get me out of a depressive funk when the med's are not enough.

(Wow, I get to be your girlfriend, therapist, and sponsor! Question: when you dink, do you also dive?)

ill exceot you who you are no bulldinki please...

My match I really love honesty, dont have to be rich or drop dead gourgous either ,but not unattractive either.. if your a player dont bother, i have nothing to offer except im a good man,andd trust worthy,and loyale,and im not a cheater or a lier if your a cheater your a lier,and if your a lier your a cheater, thats fact .. just trust your heart im your man if you want true love ,and not a booty call , i have horns too,but not just with any lady , the right one thank you be you ,and ill exceot you who you are no bulldinki please...

(Click here for Urban Dictionary's definition of "bulldinki")

some what a lonener parsay

peaceful gentalman seeking gental lady

i am some what off to my self a lot dont hang out in clubs or the streets some what a lonener parsay most of the time at work or at home watching tv or working on some home projects or visits churchs out of town or something like that im looking for someone that has an understanding about common things dont like confusion

(Actually, it sounds like you're a big fan of confusion)

want man with slow hand job

BONNIE LONELY NO LONGER A SOUTHER GENTALMAN GOT OUR LITTLE YANKEE

want man with slow hand job CAR goasl necessary motivated trustworth walks in the mnt or just hanging at home watching tv having cook outs with family but never never ask me to grt married NO NOT INTRESTED

(No problem)

bold adveturous, or even fisty

Fisty auburn headed female looking for that certain gentleman.

The words my frinds to describe fisty and unpredictable. I enjoy the good times. IT is hard to describe me. I am not a simple one way black and whit kinda girlim more of a gray area person. I go with,the flow of my moods. I can be playful at times, bold adveturous, or even fisty. I hate to be shut up by people I love to ne heard and im honest. I would have to say im a lor to handle but im worth it. My only weakness is I care entirly to much .

(Are you sure that's your only weakness?)

rob him down when his body acks

i'm her to find my KING! because this QUEEN!will do this cook, clean, welcome his at the door from work with his slipper, a drink, r/d, w/b

i'm a blees woman that would do to make her man feel like the king he is because we make each other feel like king & queen the queen clean, cook iron, surprise him to rob him down when his body acks run him a warm bath rob him down with warm oil from head to toe! this want i will do for my king! to keep a smile on his face pray that i get bless with the same. i'm retried i had to because of my health i'll explaine to whom the lord bless me with my adam i've came from a large family of fourteen you no hearpromble. diebeties, high blood pursure

(Speaking of pressure, my temple is about to explode)

have some college at mercer cunty college

Chuck here.I was married for 13 yrs.and devorced since 1985.I was a single parent till my kids whent on there own,I am a general motors retiree,and have some college at mercer cunty college in new jersey,and at the university of nebraska.I would now like to find someone to enjoy life with.

(Mercer Cunty College? I bet they have a terrific women's studies program)

sexy with crves with big hooter

i want a blond and a good looken 5'6 and sexy with crves with big hooter and just gorguse and buttyfull that is sinistive and frajal and is smart and want to help me out and go every ware with me and likes to go fishen and hunting with me and i like cuntry music comady tv shows i like mexican food i usto go to church but i dont have time to go so im alwase bussy and im a chchristian and im proud of it to

(Which hooter would you prefer, the right or the left?)

not into men which SMOKE children

looking. for. neat..slender. .dark hair..have hair...hair

About me
Goals hmmmm lots everyday. Like verbal interaction not into men which SMOKE children must have patience. Since mine is short and I'm demanding.must. be attractive. And slim. Flappy men need not apply. Must live near within 30 miles fdress well white teeth. And have them...also no older than 45 sorry Grampus LOL BTW I'm a real nag oh and bipolar

First date
You pay coffee House

(Click here for Urban Dictionary's definition of "flappy")

1 of my breast sags a tiny bit

YES pics r current n I CAN spell. 1st..men r visual so am I NO pic 4get it.. Not gona say all th typical things U read n these profiles like I'm this n that, we all think we're the greatest. Rmember every1 on here is some1's Ex..LOL. Been in advertising n marketing for 14 yrs..a love/hate relationship.

Things I've learned:

Chocolate's NOT bettr thn sex
Textin can be 4play
Real women hav curves
Real men don't hav 2 hav BIG biceps
Men R better @ casual sex thn woman
Older women can b HOT
1 of my breast sags a tiny bit
Smiling lifts my soul
There R good men & women in this world
Success isn't determined by $$
Rejection hurts

(Consider this my rejection notice)

you have to be very good with 4play

i love to make people laugh im a very touch and feel type of person tell me that im looking good smack me on my behind whisper in my ear something like hey baby i like if u could get me a beer. i love frogs!1!!!!!! you have to be very good with 4play and hitting the walls! collar greens are my food weakness but really gets me all warm is some SUGA! you have to believe in GOD

(So glad you mentioned God at the end of your profile. I was starting to think you were just a frog-loving skank)

like cooking male

i looking somebody like fun dancing like water walk help me to cook like me who im. me i like exsecie i lke yoga like cooking male something expecial for my hubby and drunc a good coffee in the morningand talking about the night you in me have fun hi haaaaaaaaaaaaaa////////////////

(Remember, don't drunc and type)

spades ged country

bowling skating bingo spades ged country iam a mother i have 7 kids no players at all under age at all i like to go out with my friends all the time i like the shows soaps soaps i need to help my kids in school my exhusband has my daughter that i do not see anymore my mom has my daughter i have fourdaughter's and one son iam looking for a boyfriend to live with me and my kids iam looking for 33-49

(You're looking for 33-49 what? More children?)

I'm active, lightly social and very sexual

I Love you and hung out with me dear!

She is good-looking and being nice to others expecialy to parents for both party.

Like to leave in Chia and being a Chiese bride.

i love you dear and come with me and build our love-nest together!

i like hanging out with family an friends helping people out expecialy the handy cap

whenever there is a problem I'm active, lightly social and very sexual.

I'm looking for a lady to have a lot in common with expecialy the sexual part. And also somone who is never bored

(How could anyone be bored with you? Lightly social with an opulent perfume of "Chiese" and a willingness to spend time with the disabled. I love you dear)

ver interested in Assian people

Looking for a drug free honest and loyal woman who is ready to settele down also somone who is willing to share her culture with me for i am very interested in learning about Assian culture. I am from Louisiana born and rased there, i am ver interested in Assian people and there culture expecialy Vietnamese I work in chemical plants around the world. i am a feild expidor. i speak seven diffrent langueges

(Seven different languages? Quite the polyglot we have here. Do they teach Assian in Louisiana, or would you recommend skipping class and going straight to Assia?)

looking for a good girl that int a gold digger

i live Yankton SD and im trying to meet some new people around the area i use to live in niobrara nebraska but i have been gone for 7 years living in dallas tx right now im mowing yards and working in my garage on some cars i was working for a company that builds radiators for mining equipment i also work for my parents in there rental houses and on their ranch im just looking for a good girl that int a gold digger and can treat a guy good i have had a hard time getting back into dating since my last girlfriend she was sorry and just used me for my money



To all my lawn-mowin' niggaz in Yankton, stay strong. If you ain't no punk holla' we want pre-nup

nice girl lip swelling to go ara

look for the woman who's cook believe in marriage and family and god who can preciate a good man understanding and was bleeding keepin,so what I'm looking for a partner is a nice girl lip swelling to go ara have a good time well is work is hard as poulsbo interlachen the willing to be the best friend as well as a girlfriend I just really want someone thats gonna beat sex is like me or at least treat me how I'm going to treat them nicest possiblemy favorite food church east k co a good fruit maybe favorite tv shows are prickly anything I watch a science fair music is anything but country orrin porter rican and I was born raised in ohio I

(While our team at Craig's Wrist furiously attempts to crack your code, let me reassure you that we're committed to helping you find a woman who "is cook" and who will "beat sex." Porter Rican's unite!)

I seek my nuse

Seek a woman who will climb these steps with me and has the grace of confidence on her wing, who will create these sparks in every individual in her path. She loves God. I will be her counterpart. I will adore her, encourage her and deliver her road beyond expectations. She will go further places, seek the mist of clouds unborn and prevail that path together. Live every day as a tiger. Tomorrow you will be glad you did. I seek my nuse.



Look no further, I got one for you

Loves PDX very much, it completes me

lay back and relax when the body, mind and spirit need to.The joy of watching people & things that grow, draw my most attention. Need interlectual stimulation and erotic stimulation. Loves to explore every inch of your skin and inner flesh, is very spontanious and creative thinker.Things and places that are very sensual open my mind and heart. Loves PDX very much, it completes me.

(I'm a big fan of Portland's airport too. We can meet there, get strip searched, and explore our inner flesh)

Out spoken.Past funny.Sometimes nuts.

Devoted lover.Open.Out spoken.Past funny.Sometimes nuts.Intimate.Love to kiss,and I know how.I love to TOUCH,CARESS and SQUEEZE.I can be a partner,friend and a lover.A good listener and a confidant.I come from a well rounded family.I was raised by both parents that are educated and very interlectual.God fearing stock.Yes I do believe in God.I also believe in Jesus Christ,Our savior.I hope you do also.




(Try my new app, TCS. It'll find guys near you who love to TOUCH, CARESS, SQUEEZE)

thick in the thigs

IM 53 IN HEIGHT, SIZE 9 IN DA WAST thick in the thigs im plus sized but carry it very well. fat not sloppy fat..N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. I KNOW HOW TO BE FAITHFUL N LOVE MY MAN. YOU WILL LIK WAT U SEE. I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE ME N TERAT ME LIKE A WOMEN SHOULD BE TERATED MAURY,MAC N CHEESE, MONICA, WEBBIE. THINK WITH UR BRAIN N NOT UR GENITALS..

(There's so much to admire in your personal ad, but your prediction that I will "lick what I see" is awfully presumptuous. Don't terat me that way)

can hold an intelligant and intellectial conversation

i am happy easygoing funloving girl who can hold an intelligant and intellectial conversationi love a movie especially when the weather outside is not caperating. i am looking for someone who is not into drama games,who is inteligant and has a good heart.

(Sorry, I refuse to caperate)

you would have to be a ritard to think otherwise

My mom's a highschool beauty queen who is a published poet and my dad's a genius IQ mathematician. Given that genetic background I find myself analytical yet bursting with creative ideas. Best movie of the past couple years? The Hangover, without a doubt. you would have to be a ritard to think otherwise.




A stunningly beautiful movie review. My jaw dropped.